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retired_prodigy
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read my profile
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Name: kaydiane
Birthday: 7/6/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, loving, laughing, easy living and newest to the list...SHOPPING (used to hate it) and MUSIC esp. reggae and dancehall
Expertise: Relying on my strength.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Business
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
1/10/2005
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Keeping up with Xanga is becoming a task.
..I don't write very often and write something meaningful even less often.
It seems like this just isn't a part of my life anymore. I joined this
community in the summer of last year and I feel like I have outgrown
it. I am not online as often as I used to be. I even forgot my AIM
password and didn't bother to click the nifty little "forgot password"
link. I can't say I won't come back but I doubt it. It's tough because
I met a few great people on here: K, EmpressSoDivine, Devin Michael
"Nestle Snipes" Thomas, Tremayne, jocular-still haven't quite figured
you out, Nohemi- one of my first Xanga peeps, and Kelly who I don't
really know but writes great poetry
So I think I'll just "walk away" as Khessia said on my milk-dud
friend's page.This page will remain here until the "TheXangaTeam"
confiscates it and charges me with abandonment. 
It's been real.
P E A C E
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| Life is tough. I thought I knew that because I didn't have a picture
perfect childhood and went through alot as a youth. But this morning
after smashing my car into the divider on the parkway, I feel like a
lot of shit is to come and I'm not quite ready to handle it. Now I am
okay and so is LaTonya (that's my hooptie and i luv her) she's a little
banged up and needs some body work but when I drove home this morning
(work was not on my mind after that) I was thinkin where am I gonna get
the money for this and that's when it hit me. The difference between my
struggles then and now comes down to money! As a youth, I never had
nice things and was very obviously poor but it's different now that I
pay for everything myself. When people don't understand rappers
spending their first big check on superficial things, I do. Only when
you grow up truly poor do you understand the feeling. I don't mean you
didn't get what you want, I mean barely getting what you needed. I sat
there thinking that maybe I should try to get another job because then
I can buy a lot more things, move out, maybe get a nicer car. I don't
want to leave school but as I am having to deal with more on my plate,
I wonder what else to do. Maybe I need more focus so that when I run
into unexpected situations, I am not thrown completely off track. I
don't know. Just thinking out loud I guess...
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| i want another boyfriend, this one is old and boring
i try not to stray but sometimes you see shit you just GOTTA have.
i already almost slipped up once with my ex
damn...
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| Soooooo,
I got up early this morning and finished all my assignments/readings
for the week, cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and my bedroom and getting
ready to go to the supermarket to buy my groceries for the week. I have
never felt so productive and it actually feels good. Hopefully all this
will add up to 4.0 this semester.
The Offline World
In other news, I was thinking about Xanga and how I
wish I wrote more. I started browsing people's pages and it seems like
the people who write everyday, practically live online. They journalize
everything and sign off on each entry with a plea for someone to
IM/text/email/ call or whatever them. One person even wrote that she
really doesn't socialize "offline" I think it's great to make friends
with people that you meet over the internet but it's another thing to
completely depend on them. Everytime that you are happy, sad, angry,
feeling down, hurt, stressed, horny, you get on the computer and look
for people to reach out to or wait for someone to contact you. You sign
on for hours at a time waiting for a conversation. You visit dozens of
journal pages/message boards/online communities in search for some sort
of human contact. I am especially worried because this seems to be most
common amongst young people. I understand living in an age of
technology. I am thought of as being one of the eldest of the Millenial
Generation where everyone was exposed to computer technology at a young
age. But whatever happened to making friends in school?
I remember looking forward to going to school just
to talk and bullshit with my friends. Now kids don't even go to school
so they play hooky but not the way I used to. They don't meet up and go
somewhere they know they aren't supposed to be and try to get home on
time without their mommas knowing. They stay home and surf the net/chat
all day. WHY?! It worries me because social skills are important and
when you hide behind a computer screen all day, you don't get a chance
to develop those skills. I have met some kids who don't even look you
in the face when you're talking. It's like they don't realize that
looking at someone, shows that you're paying attention to what they are
saying. So we think they have ADD or some shit. They just need to go
down the block to their friend's house or the park or whatever every
summer day and have their mommas drag them home at 8 every night. It's
important. Let the children play!!
I think it's important to get back to regular
people to people contact. I tried to reach a high school friend
recently, but his cellphone wasn't working. You know what I did? I
wrote him a letter. Yes, that's right. I sat down and wrote him a
letter. I put a stamp on that sucka, sent it out and heard from him
within that week. We talked for hours and met up that weekend just to
catch up with each other and it was great. Turns out he was going
through some personal shit at school and was glad to see a familiar
face. When I told people that I wrote a letter, they laughed. I myself
thought it was strange but I did it anyway and it turned out alright.
Let's get back to seeing and being in good company...for real.
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WHO'S BAD?!!! *slides on silver Michael Jackson glove*
I'm in a great mood!! Just makes me wanna dance and generally act a
fool. I haven't really been on here a lot. It's going to be that way
for a while. I wanna see if I can pull off straight A's for the first
time in my life since the 4th grade. Wish me luck! And plus, I
don't have much time or much to write nowadays. So I'll see you around
Xanga. As always...
P E A C E
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